Warning sarcasm ahead

***Warning names and people have been changed due to the extremely sarcastic nature of this blog post, continue with CAUTION***

Hi guys, I am so glad that you are here! This blog is super different from any of the other ones that I have ever wrote but I feel like this is a place for grown ups and reality is wanted and welcomed with open arms. I am usually not a very blunt person but, BUT the content of this blog I feel is SOOOO important to share because it gives all of you an inside look to how we really feel about peoples comments when it comes to Dylan’s cancer. So again WARNING if you are kinda prutz and don’t find comedy in harsh words and the true feelings through this please click out of this blog post so I don’t scare you away. Thank you again for following and don’t forget to like and share your favorite posts on social media! Lets get down to business (to defeat the huns, sorry I couldn’t help myself haha).

  1. Cancer? But he is so young.
    To this one I just kind of shake my head, am I the only one that has ever seen a Saint Jude commercial? Cancer does not discriminate, yes he is only 22, yes we are very young but don’t worry the docs doubled checked and yes it really is cancer.
  2. Well how are you doing sweetheart?
    I know I am a jack ass for putting this one down and majority of the time its out of the goodness of peoples hearts but this makes me cringe. Most of the time I cringe and smile gingerly and say “oh everything is going great he is feeling good and we are almost done”. (cue awkward smile) But seriously Sally how would you be doing if your husband had cancer, you didn’t have a job, your husband hasn’t been able to work in 2 months and life as you know it has taken a swan dive into the biggest pile of horse shit. Yeah but we are doing great, Thank you so much for asking.
  3. He has testicular cancer, but I thought you said his mass was in his chest?
    Don’t worry I am not fibbing you. I am very aware of the human anatomy and understand that yes testicles are far from his chest. When the doctors first told us, we were also very shocked. I like to call it CHESTICLE cancer it sounds a lot better than Primary Extragonadular Mediastinal Germ Cell Tumor (say that 5 times fast). I even had someone with the audacity to correct me whilst explaining his cancer, “Well that’s not what I heard” was the exact quote I received and I thought the tip top of my head was going to fall off, like excuse me Patricia I forgot that you were present and involved in the diagnosis of my husbands Cancer!
  4. Well its testicular cancer what about his sperm?
    This is THE question that gets me every time, if you have spent a millisecond of time around me you know that my one goal in life is to be a mom and have children and one of the tougher points of my husbands cancer diagnosis was the possibility of sterility after chemo. I feel uncomfortable when people ask me this question, its like as soon as your husband is the subject of medical study everyone in the community has no tact when it comes to your reproductive health. Like imagine a world where you run into family acquaintances in the produce section of king Soopers and the first question out of their mouths is about your husbands sperm, I’ll stop you right there before the mental picture gets to you and let you know it is extremely awkward. To go along with the questions what’s almost worse is when you get the comforting words from family members about the run ins they have had with people and that so in so that your cousins grandma ran into at the butcher shop said that your husbands sperm will be just fine because that cousins dogs trainers sisters boyfriends baby mommas 3rd cousin removed had problems with his sperm and he has 12 kids. Like thank you so much it really makes my heart whole knowing that my husbands sperm is the topic of all conversations. Thank you!!
  5. Oh sweetheart how are you staying so strong?
    Again I know I’m a jack ass but come on people that like asking a mother how she is able to raise a child or how a plumber is able to unclog a toilet. Like there was no choice for me to be anything less. There was no choice for me going out and finding the largest rock as far away as a I could and creating a new life under my newly found rock. Because trust me if there was a choice I probably would have defiantly considered it. It is my job as a wife and as a partner to pick up where Dylan left off and to keep on keeping on. Don’t kid yourself there has been plenty of emotional breakdowns, nights of crying myself to sleep, and plenty of “Why me God, why him, why us”. My only answer to people who ask me this question there was no choice, we were served this on our platter of life for a reason. God is grooming us into some pretty awesome people if he thinks that we can handle Cancer at 21 and 22. Yeah many forget I am 21 years old, most people my age are going out and getting black out drunk no matter the day of the week. So even though at the beginning of this question I said I had no choice but after thinking to myself I did have a choice, but there was no choice in leaving my husband. I have found so much love, have regained faith, learned the true meaning of grace, and found my true inner strength through this. When you take a vow as a wife you promise to a life together through thick and thin, rich and poor, in SICKNESS AND IN HELATH, I was doing what I promised him I would. I kept my vow as a wife to stay strong and to stand by his side in the scariest moment of his life.
  6. How are you feeling?
    This question is straight from the horses mouth, you want to see Dylan go from 0-60 ask him how he is feeling. It doesn’t matter who it is me, his mother, his dad, no one is safe after this question comes out of your mouth. To his defense it is kinda a loaded question, he has spent the last 12 weeks of his life being filled to the brim with not 1 but 2 different kinds of high potency chemotherapy. Like we are talking some caustic shit! Along with this toxic waste being pumped into his veins, he lost almost all his hair on his head including his luscious facial hair (swoon), has experienced almost all of the nasty side affects including hearing changes, weight gain and loss, taste changes, a nose that runs constantly, and lets not forget nausea the chemo beast. So when you take all that into consideration and then pile it onto the numerous emotional toils that poor man has endured I don’t belive the question “how are you feeling” isn’t the best question to be asked and unless you hold a degree as a shrink I don’t think you want to touch that one!

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