An open letter to my little brother on…

Dear little brother…

You have finally hit the age where love is not just an emotionless term used to describe the type of affection towards an object, it has officially been programmed into your head as a necessity in live. Every man wants to find love in a woman and every woman wants to find love in a man, its a natural phenomenon that has created and destroyed life through out the eons. It is so strange for me to look at you as a teenage boy and try to justify in my head that at your age I had found the man that God put on this earth for me to marry, I hear you talk about your crush like its only puppy love and that you are incapable to know what real yearning love feels like. But then I remember how in love I was at 16 and how sure I was about my future with Dylan. I have loved you since you were itty bitty and forever you will be little in my eyes, the little boy who we would chase around the house to dress up in dresses and wigs, and  that continuously thought it was cool to be the third wheel with me a Dylan. I wish I could tap into that mind of yours and save you from the inevitable hurt that this 4 letter word has in store for you. You will have your heart broken and one day you will find that person who erases that scar from your heart forever. I just want to share with you what I have learned and what I know about love, because even though you will have to learn for yourself I hope that one day when love comes knocking on your door you can look back and remember some of the things I told you and it will let you tear away your macho exterior to allow love in.

I once read in a book that love that starts fast ends fast. Everything good in life comes with due time, take the time to really enjoy that person. Spend quality time with that significant other, some of the best memories I have dating Dylan were the simple times, like laying on the gravel floor off his dad’s shop rewiring a trailer for the umpteenth time, or being knee deep in mud and cow shit fixing fence. Simplicity in love is what makes it effortless and true, Love is a lot like a fart if you have to try to hard its probably shit. Breaking up and getting back together over and over again is not love, its not healthy, learning from a young age to stick it through thick and thin is a lesson the sooner you learn the better life will be and if it doesn’t work move on there is a reason you broke up with that person in the first place DONT GO BACK!

Be a gentle-man, and by this I mean two separate things. First, be gentle, don’t treat them like one of your buddies, if she is special to you treat her as so. Make her feel special, be each others best friends and allow your guard to come down. I will tell you over and over again the littlest gestures sometimes mean the most. There were quite a few nights when I was waiting tables that I would come out to my car and have Dyl sitting in his dirty muddy truck with him covered in grease to find a Pumpkin spice latte and roses in hand. he would sit there for an hour just to give me a good night kiss and some flowers. The second, be a gentleman chivalry is not dead so treat her like a lady, open the door for her, give her your jacket if she is cold, and for goodness sakes hold her damn hand in public. You were raised by a strong woman and with older sisters I know you know how woman should and shouldn’t be treated, and if you forget trust me I will be the first in line to remind you. In any relationship there will always be give and take and some relationships one person gives more than takes or takes more than gives, but there should never be a time where there is animosity because the lack of balance in the relationship, if problems arise nip it in the bud.

The biggest thing little brother that I have to tell you about love is don’t be afraid. Falling and being in love is such an amazing experience.  The total experience start to finish is so magical and soak in every moment and never forget what it feels like. Because one day after being married for a little while you become accustom  to the everyday hustle and bustle of the world and remembering the little moments and the times that built your relationship instantly brings back the spark. Don’t forget to go for it, LOVE HARD!

XOXO

 

Caitlyn

 

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