The 10 NEVERS, to a dynamite marriage…

  1. Never stop dating. This is an important sentiment for both husband and wife, it is important to keep the thrill alive. Making your spouse feel good and have night of spoiling is all around I personally think therapeutic.
  2. Never stop being friends. This one is so very important to my husband and I and our marriage. Since the beginning of our relationship we have always harvested a strong friendship and have been each others very best friend. It is so special to have a bond other than the one set in place by a piece of paper. Having the connection of being each others best friend is a blessing that I am thankful for every single day. Having that need for my husband on a different level than intimately or as a “partner” in our marriage but for the pure enjoyment of being each others best friend is a joy that I have every single day.993655_623986097625727_1685481145_n
  3. Never work against each other. When you get married you are promising to a life of team work and partnership. You chose to marry this person to be your partner in crime for life and when you stop working together as one and begin working as two separate entities is when your marriage will begin to crumble. Like that it does not take long, imagine you and your spouse are foundation walls alone you are just a wall but working together you are able to create a foundation for a home. If one day the walls decide to stop working together the house begins to crumble.
  4. Never go to bed angry.  This is the most cliché marriage advice and I can think back to at least 6 cards I got on my wedding day that had this plastered to the inside of it. But it is so TRUE! There has been what I can remember 2 nights where me and Dylan have been so made that we both just went to sleep, and I woke up the next day more upset at myself that I didn’t take the time to work WITH my husband to work through our problem. Your bedroom should be a safe haven and fights should not cross that threshold.
  5. Never forget why you fell in love.  To me this is a no brainer, the feeling of falling in love is one of the most euphoric feelings in the entire world and so little are we able to keep that feeling for very long. Once the hustle and bustle of life ensues and you get comfortable there really is no everyday reminder that sparks that falling in love feeling. Make it a priority to remember that, and why you fell in love.
  6. Never stop growing. I had the pleasure of growing up with my husband, therefore as we were growing we grew together. I believe that is what makes our relationship so strong is that sometimes there is no separation between us two. We have grown together which means that a lot of our beliefs, values, and ways of thinking are pretty similar. You are two separate people creating a life as one. GROW AS ONE!
  7. Never stop laughing. This one is sometimes difficult, but at least in our relationship laughter is essential. Even if we are wanting to strangle each other I always try to throw him a little wink. Even when we are stuck in our chemo room for 5 hours and we are bored out of our minds I’ll do a little jig for him just to see him chuckle a little. I am a firm believer that laughter is life’s greatest medicine and in all aspects your day is always a little better if you remember to laugh.
  8. Never give up on each other. This one kinda goes with number 3 in the aspect of your a team and there should never be a time where you choose to give up on your spouse. Making the commitment to stand next to your person for better or for worse is said in every wedding ceremony but until you are faced with worse you really don’t know what you are getting yourself into. It is human nature to either fight or flight in times of pressure but after you say those words and make that promise there is no more flight left in the equation. With my husbands diagnosis it could have been really easy for me to say nope I cant handle this I’m out, but I sit next to him and hold his hand everyday through everything because I made a promise to him that through the good and the bad and in sickness and in health I will never give up on him and I will always stand by his side ready to fight.
  9. Never put yourself first. This may put a bad taste in some peoples mouths but yes you read that right and yes this is how we live our marriage. There is a blog that I follow and she just wrote a post on being a submissive wife ( check it out here )and how this is not a power struggle and it is actually biblical to submit yourself to your husband. So let me back up and explain what I mean, in our marriage we are a team like I said before we are the best of friends what I mean by never put yourself first is always care for and watch your spouses back, if you put them first and they put you first you will always have someone to depend on. And yes in my marriage I heavily depend on my husband and I know my husband depends on me.DSC_8462.JPG
  10. Never lose your faith. I have always been a very faithful person Dylan not so much. Neither one of us are super religious but we have always had faith in God and in rough times we have been able to fall back on his support. I don’t think that I could get through and be as strong as I am through his cancer journey with out having faith in a greater plan written by God. I know the faith path is not for everyone but it has helped strengthen me as a person which allows me to be strong for not only my husband but also for my marriage through a time where strength has not came so easy.

 

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